HOLIDAY JOKES

Normally in December, I put out a holiday video with some of my associates where we tell a bunch on holiday “Dad Jokes.” I then publish them in my Christmas article so Dads (and Mums) all over the Coast can enjoy the magic of eye-rolling and head-shaking with their family. COVID restrictions put a damper on the video this year, but here are the jokes for your reading pleasure.
Hopefully, you can bring a laugh to someone you know delivering these gems this holiday season.
• Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist? Because he had low elf-esteem.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
• How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
• Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.
• What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
• Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.
• Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
• What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
• Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks? Santa Jaws.
• What’s Santa Claus’s favourite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles.
• Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.
• Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley.
• Why don’t reindeer like picnics? Because of all their ant-lures.
• What do elves post on social media? Elf-ies.
• What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’? A mistle-toad.
• What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
• How does Santa take photos? With a Pole-aroid camera, of course.
• Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital? He has private elf care.
• What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
• What do you call a Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Clause.
• What do you call all the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents? A Christ-MESS.
• Who is Santa’s favourite pop-star? Beyon-sleigh.
• How Does Darth Vader know what you are getting for Christmas? He can feel your presents.
Tony Browton is an award-winning realtor who lives and works on BC’s
Sunshine Coast.
His weekly blog can be found here http://www.true
bluerealty.ca/blog.